![\"Boston](\"https:\/\/jonathanbrooker.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Caring-To-Confront-700x461.jpg\")
<\/p>\nThe other day I had to have a difficult discussion. In fact, that probably is a bit of an understatement, because it even got to the point of affecting me physically as I wrestled with how to take care of something that had come to my attention. It was clear that I needed to step in as both a pastor as well as a loving Christian and deal with this situation.<\/p>\n
This presents a pretty difficult dilemma for us believers to deal with. On one side of the issue we hear our world telling us that we have no room to say anything or we\u2019re being judgmental. And then, of course, that\u2019s all the church is to some people \u2013 a bunch of judgmental people looking at other\u2019s faults and failures.<\/p>\n
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But to that side I say, \u201cHold on!\u201d Let\u2019s be careful that you\u2019re not propagating the same kind of sin you\u2019re pointing out in others. If you say that there is really no room for anyone to correct anyone else without being judgmental then you\u2019ve already cast your judgment. And you\u2019re wrong, too. Yes, I said it.<\/p>\n
I know that because I know that it\u2019s actually loving to correct in the right way. My mother lovingly confronted me when I went to put my hand on the stove. My dad lovingly confronted me when I\u2019d try to cross the street without looking. My brothers corrected me when I said or did something I shouldn\u2019t have. And other people close to me corrected me when I did something wrong. It helped me to see what needed corrected for my best good. It was pure love!<\/p>\n
Without confrontation you can\u2019t call it love. It\u2019s cowardly people-pleasing. You\u2019re just telling people what they want to hear without ever dealing with the reality that we\u2019re all going to mess up and at times need someone to point it out and help us to repair the error. Love is putting an arm around someone and showing them what they did wrong and how it was wrong. And love is recognizing that you\u2019re not perfect, accepting correction, and changing your ways in light of that.<\/p>\n
So, now that you may have almost forgotten that I said there were two sides to this argument, let\u2019s talk about the second one. This is simply the side that confronts without wisdom. That\u2019s what happens when you don\u2019t want to actually see the person be restored but instead want them ruined. That\u2019s what happens when you come in aggressively, right off the bat. That\u2019s what happens when you make rush assumptions without finding out your facts. In fact, that\u2019s what happens when you\u2019re not willing to ask questions but just start off by making assumptions. In my experience, I think well-thought-out, and well-placed questions can do much more for loving confrontation than a solid argument.<\/p>\n
2 Timothy 4:2 says \u201cPreach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage \u2013 with great patience and careful instruction.\u201d If you love people it\u2019s biblical that you sometimes approach the dark recesses of their actions and behaviors with the light of truth. We should just be ready to do this with great patience and careful instruction. Instruction that perhaps even comes from when we\u2019ve been confronted! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"