There’s something about winning that I just love. I tend to be a pretty competitive person just because I’ve felt winning and I’ve felt losing and I’ve decided I just really like the one more than the other! If you like the feeling of losing you may want to save yourself some time and quit reading now. This simply isn’t for you.
The assumption from here on is that you want to win. But what I’ve found in my context of full-time youth ministry over the last couple of years is that a “win” isn’t always straightforward. In fact, you can actually lose when you win. It’s all about this penetrating question of how you lead: Who wins when I win?
Who benefits by your success? I think it’s important that we work towards success in our lives. As far as I can tell it’s a God-given desire. Of course we have to watch out how we define and how we attain success. Just think of the Tower of Babel. But then there’s also the difference between a success that just benefits you and one that benefits others. The first is cheap success – good for you. The second is meaningful success – this has now gone beyond you.
Allow me to break it down into 3 different, distinct, and uniquely characterized categories:
1. Individual Win – “This is good for me.”
This is the win that makes the biggest impact for the individual doing the winning. It’s like a slam dunk contest. It brings some glory and prestige to a single individual but that’s about where it ends. In our lives this is the win that helps us to achieve our personal goals, helps us to get richer, helps us to get more well-known. But that’s where it ends.
2. Team Win – “This is good for us.”
This is the win that goes beyond just the one who did the “winning.” Let’s stick with our basketball reference for just a bit longer. If that slam dunk or a 3-point shot is the buzzer-beating winning point(s) for an actual game then it takes on a whole different dimension. The team will storm the player who made the shot. They’ll lift him up. He helped them win. But they’re not shouting, “You won!!” They’re screaming, “We won!!” The win was still definitely personal but it branched out to being a win for the whole team. That’s what happens when we invest others into the “win.” When they can be a part of the process of getting there, it’s a team win. When they get to celebrate with us, it’s a team win.
3. Beneficiaries Win – “This is good for the organization.”
This takes us to a whole different level of winning. And I’ll tell you, this is the absolute best win, in my opinion. This is the win that goes beyond the individual and even surpasses the team that directly made the “win” happen. This is the domino effect. Leaving our basketball metaphor, this is like the cure that is discovered for a disease. The scientist who discovered it has won, and so has the team who were a part of the research and testing. But the real winners end up being the many people who can live or live better because of the cure being discovered. For us, this is the win that goes beyond our individual concerns and petty dreams and impacts people we may or may not know personally. This is what speaks to the leader’s legacy rather than their reputation. These kinds of wins may not even be “properly attributed” but that doesn’t matter to the first domino because the win was meant to be shared and shared and shared.
All of this, quite honestly, is something I’ve personally been wrestling with and thinking over a lot lately as I excitedly prepare to release my first book. There can be focus on me in that role as well as even in my role as “youth pastor” but I have to be careful that I don’t just get the individual win. What a loss if my “win” is only to my advantage! I’m working to make sure my wins always benefit others. I encourage you to see how you can do the same with what you do.
Now go out and win!